Everything I'm Not
by BlackEyedWicca
Summary: Oneshot Songfic Cupcakes won't like, it's a babe fic. Just a quick note to say it's been slightly edited but nothing major :D


**Disclaimer:** I don't Own Stephanie Plum and all the characters they belong To Janet Evanovich and I'm SO Jealous of that, also the Song Everything I'm Not belongs to the Veronicas and Co. I'm just doing this for fun purposes I'm not getting paid etc.

**Setting:** Just after TBO, in this story EOT and TS didn't happen

**Spoilers:** TBO and HE

**AN:**First Oneshot and Steph Plum fic so please don't be mean also sorry if The chars are OOC and Ummm if you want to review feel free I'll never turn down a review even if it's a criticism.

**ALSO A HUGE THANKS 2 AETHEREAL DREAMS WHO HELPED EDIT THIS STORY AND IMPROVE IT! THANKS AGAIN! **

**P.S:** I just did a bit of editing to this one-shot so nothing major….but for all who wanted a sequel I'm jut going to inform you there won't be one! I am glad you enjoyed it that much though :D Well Ta And Happy Holidays BEW 24/12/06

Hugs and Kisses

BlackEyedWicca

* * *

_Oh no  
Don't go changing  
That's what you told me from the start  
Thought you where something different  
That's when it all just fell apart_

_Like you're so perfect  
And I can't measure up  
Well I'm not perfect  
Just all messed up_

Well, I just almost got gang raped but was saved by a cross-dressing bus driver with a Uzi, yep, just another day in the life of Stephanie Plum. Now, you may be thinking how did this happened and how is this a normal day, but it's rather simple I'm a Bounty Hunter, in basic terms I find people who skip their court date and drag their butts back to jail. This causes bad people to notice me, hence the gang coming after me the other reason for the gang to come after me is I have incredible bad luck. I've been stalked many times, and blown up more cars then I have broken nails, been kidnapped as well as had guns pointed at me on various occasions. You may be thinking how come I'm still alive, well it's simple I have my very own Batman, and his Merry Men to come save me.

_  
I was losing myself to somebody else  
But now I see  
I don't wanna pretend  
So this is the end of you and me_

_Cause the girl that you want  
She was tearing us apart  
Cause she's everything  
Everything I'm not_

Speak of the devil, here come Batman AKA Ranger, tall, dark, dangerous and drop dead sexy. He's every woman's fantasy and is my Higgins to Eliza, my one time lover and recent roommate and I've fallen in love with him. I came to this conclusion when I was almost gang raped; only problem he doesn't do relationships; so I'm kind of screwed there. Following right behind him is my on-again, off-again boyfriend Joseph Morelli.

Joe and me have known each other since I was 6 and he taught me how to play choo choo, I was the tunnel he was the train. When I was 16 he took my virginity and then left to do things and people other than me, I was a little annoyed so when I saw him again two years later I ran him over and broke his leg. I didn't see him again until two years ago when he was my first FTA and I needed to catch him or I'd go broke. Turns out he was framed so he's a good guy and a Vice cop now and at the moment in an off stage of our relationship, Thanks to him wanting me to be a housewife and give up bounty hunting, which I don't want to do.

_It's not like I need somebody  
Telling me where I should go at night  
Don't worry you'll find somebody  
Someone to tell how to live their life_

_Cause your so perfect  
And no one measures up  
You're all by yourself  
and all messed up_

Joe came over to me and said, "Cupcake, I need to talk to you, alone." He looked at Ranger when he said the last part. I inwardly sighed and nodded. We moved over near a vacant cop car and he started his pre made argument. "Steph, Cupcake, how much longer are you going to keep doing this job? When are you going to give it up and move in with me and get married?"

I shook my head at him and said, "Joe, I love my job, I don't want to give it up, why can't you see that?"

I could see Joe was trying to calm his temper but was failing he managed to calm it enough to say, "Don't you love me Steph? Why won't you do this for me? It would make your mother happy."

I mentally sighed and said, "Joe, it may make my mother happy but I wouldn't be happy, I've never been the housewife type. I've always been the one to want to fly!"

Joe obviously didn't like this answer because he started yelling. "Christ Steph! This job is going to kill you, why don't you just do what I want?"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "What do you want Joe?"

_I was losing myself to somebody else  
But now I see  
I don't wanna pretend  
So this is the end of you and me_

_  
Cause the girl that you want  
She was tearing us apart  
Cause she's everything  
Everything I'm not_

He seemed to think I was backing down because he softened and said, "I want you to be my wife to live in my house, to cook and clean, for us to have some kids."

I looked at him and said, "You mean our own little burg happily ever after?"

He smiled, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Yeah, our own happily ever after,"

I looked out at the crowd that had formed. I saw Carl and Eddie who were looking at me with a smile, other cops and various paramedics who I didn't know, Tank and a few other Merry Men were looking at me with 'She can't be serious' looks and then I found the face I'd been searching for Ranger. He was tense and had a blank face on when he looked at me but I thought I saw sadness flash in his eyes but I must have been seeing things. I new what I had to do, I shook of his arm and looked at him and said, "Joe, you don't get it, you're Burg happily ever after, it isn't with me. It's with someone who's everything I'm not. My life is like this…" I gestured to the ambulances, cop cars and Merry Men. "I can't be who you want, I love you but not enough to change who I am, I don't want to be told that I can or can't do something, I'm sorry Joe, but I can't. I hope you can find someone who can be that for you,"

_Now wait a minute  
Because of you  
I never knew all the things that I had_

_  
Hey don't u get it  
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight  
Cause this is my life_

He seemed stunned for a few seconds before surprise turned to anger. "Do you mean this over?" I nodded a yes, not trusting myself to speak or I might cry, I loved him maybe not in the 'I want to marry you' sense but I didn't want to stop being friends with him. He practically growled out, "It's because of him, isn't it?" He gestured at Ranger before continuing, "It is, isn't it, you've already been staying at his place, are you fucking him too? He doesn't love you, he's probably just using you for sex!"

Something snapped inside me and my calmness disappeared. "What the fuck are you talking about? I never even mentioned Ranger, it has nothing to do with him, I'm breaking up with you because you want me to change, and you don't love me, you love the image of me that's in your head, and Ranger and I aren't sleeping together! Hell he's been more supportive of me then you've ever been, he's probably my best and most trusted friend."

And I'm in love with him and wish he felt the same way. Of course I didn't actually say that but I think he got the point if his shocked expression is anything to go by. "Goodbye Joe, I had hoped we could still be friends, but since you felt the need to insult me, I don't think that could ever happen." Holding my head up high I walked over to Ranger and said, "Can you take me home?"

_  
I was losing myself to somebody else  
But now I see  
I don't wanna pretend  
So this is the end of you and me_

Cause the girl that you want  
She was tearing us apart  
Cause she's everything  
Everything I'm not

He nodded at me, moved over to Tank had a brief conversation then lead me over to one of the many black SUV's parked around the site. He opened the door for me and I got in, he went to the driver's side door, got in and drove off. He got about 5 minutes away and asked, "Where to?"

I thought for a bit, "Valerie has been in my apartment so that's a no. I'm not going to Joe's or my parents, so can I stay at your place tonight?" He gave a brief nod and drove towards the Rangeman building.

We drove in silence him in his zone and me thinking about what I was going to do about Ranger and Joe. It was over with Joe for good but did I want to pursue a romantic relationship with Ranger? Yes. Did he want one with me? Probably not. I mean, considering his 'my lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships' and sending me back to Morelli. Yet, at the same time, he did say he loved me twice, only problem was he countered it with things like 'in my own way' or 'this kind doesn't come with a ring attached', Did I want to just have a sex relationship with him? No way, I couldn't do that I love him too much.

I was analysing Ranger so much I didn't notice we had been sitting in the garage for 5 minutes until Ranger said, "I hear rubber burning, Babe, care to share?"

I jumped startled by his voice. "Nothing just thinking about what I'm going to do now," There, not the exact truth but close enough.

"Babe," He said, before getting out of the car, going to my side opening the door for me, helping me out and then heading towards the elevator.

_  
But now I see  
I don't wanna pretend  
So this is the end of you and me_

_  
Cause the girl that you want  
she was tearing us apart  
Cause she's everything  
Everything I'm no_t

We got in the elevator and Ranger entered the key and pressed the button for the 7th floor. When the doors closed he turned to me his eyes the colour of molten chocolate and kissed me with enough passion to make my toes curl. "I've been wanting to do that since I saw you standing next to Sally," Wow, big sentence from Batman. He chuckled.

Opps, I must have said that out loud. "Yeah Babe, you did." I blushed and he laughed. It was then that the elevator doors opened and we went inside the apartment door opened.

When the door shut he went from amused to serious and turned and pushed me up against the wall, "Did you mean what you said?"

I looked at him curiously, "About what?"

"About me being your best and trusting friend,"

I was about to make some flippant answer but when I saw his eyes silently pleading me for a true answer; I said, "Yes Ranger, you're my best friend. You have always supported me, you make me feel safe and make me feel like I can really do this job," He seemed to lose some of the tension in his body but he still seemed unsure, but he released me. He seemed to be okay now so I said, "I'm going to have a shower," I was almost out of earshot but by some chance I heard his whispered questions.

"How can you trust me? How can you consider me your friend?" I turned and saw the confusion in his eyes.

"Ranger, you have always helped me, you've saved my life so many times and even let me stay here with you, I trust you with my life and I because you've supported me and helped me when I most needed it I've even grown to l…." I stopped myself just before I said what would cause him to stay away from me.

He looked at me with a quirked eyebrow. "What?"

"N-nothing," I mentally cursed my self for stuttering.

"Babe," He said, stalking towards me. "Tell me,"

Gathering my courage as this would be my only chance to tell him how I really felt I said, "Do you really want to know?" He nodded; he was standing so close to me I could feel his breath on my face.

"What I was going to say was," I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes "I've even grown to love you." He froze and a variety of emotions flashed before his eyes surprise, doubt, lust and could it be…. Love?

He looked in my eyes searching for something he seemed to find it because he lent down and kissed me hard. When we finally pulled out of it, it too me a couple of seconds to leave the kiss induced high, when I did I said, "Any chance the 'life doesn't lend itself to relationships' rule could be broken?"

He just kissed me again and mumbled into my lips, "Only you, Babe," before dragging me towards the bed and growling out, "You're wearing too many clothes."

Oh Boy!

* * *

**AN:** What do you think? Good, bad, okay, wanna puke cause it was so bad? Please tell me I'd love to know! Hope the song fits and yeah

Luv BlackEyedWicca


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